Email to My Real Estate Agent

My landlord decided to change insurers to someone with family ties and suddenly I was confronted with a list of new, stringent compliance requirements that had never been demanded in the past, all of which I have spent weeks to meet, except the one last point regarding my exhaust that will cost me $900 to fix, which I’m resisting.  At Noah’s bedside at the ICU I just got an email from the real estate agent chasing me up about it.


First of all Anthony, I have received no further correspondence regarding the invasion of privacy and breach of contract with the workers turning up unannounced and banging on my roof when I was trying to sleep when I was heavily pregnant with severe complications.  Not good enough that you would say you would tell the owner.  You’ve said that many times before and it still happens.

Second of all, if you’re talking about the filters, I’ve been given a ballpark date with which to look for receipts from the cleaning but my staff have yet to recover them since as you can imagine, I have full boxes of tiny little receipts to go through.

Third of all re: the exhaust cleaning, I got a quote from an exhaust cleaning specialist who in his own words, said that THERE IS NO RISK BASED ON HIS ASSESSMENT AND ON THE TYPE OF COOKING I DO, OF THERE BEING A FIRE HAZARD.

Fourthly, as I have repeatedly pointed out to you, this is a completely out of the blue requirement by the new insurance brokers who are making completely unreasonable requests for compliance that have NEVER been requested in the 6 or so years I’ve been at the premises.

Fifthly, if it means that much to them, based on the exhaust cleaning people’s own assessment, I can try to organise for an objective third party certified inspector to check it out and produce a certificate stating there is no need for cleaning and no fire hazard posed.

And FINALLY, I just delivered my baby 6 weeks prematurely last week via emergency caesarean, I’m in the hospital 12-14hours a day to be by his side at the ICU, he’s suffering from THREE life threatening conditions, one of which has a 90% mortality rate (in other words, 9 out of 10 babies with this condition DIE)…so take this for what it’s worth, the filter BULLSHIT is not on my priority list right now.

Jackie M.



Letter to My Baby (9th May 2012)

Dear Baby Noah,

I got news at the hospital yesterday that you will arrive next Thursday 17 May 2012.  You will be arriving 5 weeks early because the doctors say you’re in trouble and will not make it past the next two  weeks or so.  Right now I don’t know if you’re gonna make it, baby.  Mommy was given the option to ‘let nature take its course’ – because your heart is failing – or to take the active intervention option.  I’ve opted for the latter so we will be delivering you via caesarean and hoping to be able to save you.  You have a ton of hurdles to overcome, baby. When you’re delivered, you’re going to need to be resuscitated because your lungs, heart, tummy and skin are filled with water.

Mommy has  had two steroid injections to help your lungs grow stronger before you arrive.  And they’re hooking me up to the CTG monitor every second day to check your vitals are still okay. I’m told to come prepared each time to stay for an emergency delivery should they find you in distress.

Because of my appointment times I couldn’t get a parking spot at the hospital yesterday.  This Aussie guy behind me walked out of his vehicle and yelled at me for supposedly blocking him off when in fact he was in the wrong.  I stormed out and yelled back at him but he drove off.  I was keeping an eye out for him at the hospital so I could spit on his face.  I was so ropeable I was prepared to physically assault him despite my duck waddle and overly big tummy due to your condition.

Once you’re delivered and they stabilize you, they will need to operate on your bowel obstruction problem.  You’ll be spending time in the hospital for awhile to recover from that.  Then, if all goes well, you will need open heart surgery at  11 weeks old, thereabouts.

I have looked up the stats on your latest condition, baby.  They’re not looking good.  Anywhere between 40%-90% mortality rate depending on which study you read. But we’re in good hands with the team at Westmead Hospital.  And the duodenal atresia operation that comes after that has a 40% mortality rate as well.  I don’t know about the stats with regards to the atrioventricular defect surgery, baby.  The doctor is unable to fully assess the extent of your problem until you actually arrive.  The odds are against us, but you have people praying for you as we speak.

I will have to stay in the hospital for 3 days at least, after you’re delivered.  I’ve been told to be prepared for the worst.  If you don’t make it it’s gonna be tough to stay there on my own, for the following days.  And it’s gonna be tough returning the baby capsule and baby pram and baby clothes that your cousins have so kindly donated/loaned to us.  So hang in there, baby.

Baby, whatever happens, we know it will be God’s will.  I try to tell myself that you will be better off with Jesus in heaven , because you have a lifetime of struggle ahead of you even if you make it past these complications.  You will need physical therapy, supervision and lifelong monitoring because of your condition.   But Mommy is up to the task, whatever lies ahead.

Whether you make it through the birth or through childhood or through adulthood, mommy will be with you 100% of the way.  So be strong for mommy’s sake, baby.  I love you and I always will.

Postscript 15 May 2012 – Baby Noah was delivered via emergency caesarean yesterday (Monday) at 34 weeks, after a CTG scan revealed abnormal readings over the weekend.  This had been preceded by strong contractions for some 48 hours beforehand.  I’m still recovering at the hospital; I’ve just been told his condition has taken a turn for the worse and the doctors are continuing to work on stabilizing him as we speak.

16/5/2012 –


Baby Noah in the ICU –